3 years have gone by…I tried getting you back, but it was too late. I tried because I wanted to make up for the times I lacked in showing you that I really loved you. I tried because I wanted to show you that I wasn’t ready to let go of you. I wanted to show you that I was willing to risk everything to get you back. I wanted to prove to you that my intentions were true… but it was too late. I was always honest with you, even to the point of hurting you. I’m sorry. I was ignorant of the fact that jealousy is also a gesture of one’s love for the person. I was scared to lose you, but yet, I let you go just like that. I didn’t fight for you. I’m sorry. I realized this all too late. Still, I want you to know that I really did love you and did trust you with all that was in me. If I could just turn back the time, I would do things differently. You have been the biggest hang up of my life.
I had my girlfriend. We had our own world. She was all I imagined to be.
You fought FOR me and WITH me. You were always jealous every time I’d have a girl... You’d always make me your priority...We’d fight for this friendship even though people would think that It was no longer right. I was so lucky to have you in my life… You told me that you didn’t deserve me, that I was your anchor… But truly, It was you whom I didn’t deserve, I was you whom I held on to. Now that things are different, I finally let you go, I let you go because it was going to be unfair for the guy you love. I don’t know if that was a wrong decision, but all I know is that you’re already happy with him and that’s all that matters. It is really hard to balance both your best friend and your boyfriend. I wouldn’t give you up just like that, but seeing someone who does a great job in making you happy, that’s good enough for me. I don’t want to see what happened to my past happen to you. Just remember that I’m still here. Thank you so much for believing in me. At one point, thank you for making me your priority.
I had my girl best friend, my soul mate. She was everything that a guy could want as a best friend.
It’s been so long since I have talked, TALKED to you. So many things happened. Looks like you’ve changed. As for me, no… I’m still the same. The past still haunts me, man. I might have said unpleasant things, things that might have offended you… but those things were just said at a time where I felt like you betrayed me. Fuck man, I treated you like a REAL brother. Why did you have to do that? Why her? There came a point wherein you even told her not to talk to me but in the end, you just dropped her. What was that all about? If there’s one thing, I can’t stand up for myself. I don’t know how to pick a fight with someone who’s really close to me. I tried, but I just couldn’t be angry with you. I know I was also to blame, probably ‘coz I didn’t show her that I did really cared for her… but as a best friend, you should have stopped yourself. Bro, but despite all that, you were one of the greatest friends I have come to know. I will never forget the memories man. Honestly, never found a best friend that came close to this friendship. All the hatred I felt against you have gone.
I had my guy best friend. I valued that friendship so much, trusted him with my life.
You know I’m a weakling. If I had to call anyone to get me out of deep shit, it would be you. I knew that you would come to the rescue. Every time you were there, I felt that nothing could harm me. You became my security blanket. I drew strength from you man. But then, things changed… I opted to go with her instead of you guys. I know that it was a deliberate choice on my part and there were times when I would then regret it. Man, it was really hard to imagine that every time you guys would hang out, I wasn’t in the picture anymore. I guess others took my place, eventually. Sorry for the times where in I didn’t make myself available. Sorry for the times when I’d go home really early, or arrive really late. Sorry for the times where in I wasn’t there for you, to listen to you. After realizing this, I tried to fix it but there came a point wherein I felt left out between you guys, I couldn’t relate with the stories and the circle of friends you have formed. The gap was already too big to just jump right in. But when you left man, even though we weren’t that close anymore, it made me realize how much I should have valued the friendship, how much I needed a big brother. You mean so much.
I had my kuya. I felt that nothing could harm me, knowing that I had a big brother who was always there. He took good care of me.
We were best friends before, but since we realized that friendships were still a bit too temporary, we changed from best friends to brothers. We have proven that people need not to be blood related to become brothers. Bro, we have gone through so much man. You got me into trouble so many times… I’d cover for you so many times… I’d fight with you so many times… We’d have the same girls… we’d get into trouble so many times… You betrayed me so many times!!!!…but still, we surpassed all that. We’ve seen each other at our highs and our lows. We’d have big fights as if we were together... You even made me choose between you or my “soulmate”!!! You would tell me things I didn’t want to hear, but we both knew that I had to. Yes, I admit, I almost let you go man, I almost replaced you. But man, thank you so much for not giving up. You are the meano-est, most abusive person I know. You are an asshole, but nevertheless, I love you, my brother. But you, too, left me here. I realized how much it sucks not having someone to bug you almost everyday. I realized how much brothers should really value each other. I realized how much I need an everyday friend.
I had my little brother. He was my shadow.
LEFT ALONe. LEFT ALONe. LEFT ALONe. LEFT ALONe. LEFT ALONe. LEFT ALONe. LEFT ALONe.
